The Seam Ripper

CONFESSION:
Good morning, my friend!  Good morning, Father!  

“Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.” - Isaiah 53:4-5 

Lord, of late I find myself struggling with receiving what I have not earned.  With some recent medical tests, the costs are mounting and I feel uneasy, even guilty, that our hard-earned money is being spent solely on me.  There is no way, with the current busyness of my life, for me to take on a job to offset the costs.  Even if I had the time, I don’t have the wherewithal to do so.  I find myself wanting to pay for it all out of a bank account set up before we were married.  All of our finances are commingled now, so it is silly, but somehow it feels less selfish to pay for it all from an account that represented what I had worked for, instead of receiving the kindness of my precious husband to work to provide for my needs.  I see that while there is a measure of unselfishness in my motivation, the deeper underpinning is one of pride.  I want to do it myself.  I want to earn it myself and carry my own weight.  While it is kind to not want to put undue stress on my husband, my stubborn pride causes me to feel discomfort and unworthiness at being the recipient of his generosity.  Were my pridefulness removed, my discomfort would evaporate, and instead I would be awash in gratefulness, joy at this expression of his love and an even deeper level of love and devotion toward him.  

Lord, I see this same pervasive thread of pride woven into the tapestry of my relationship with You.  It is not of Your doing.  I took it upon myself to take needle and thread to add the detail myself, thinking that my contribution to Your beautiful covering would somehow enhance it.  In reality, it is an unsightly distraction at the corner that detracts from its beauty.  Lord, forgive me for my pride.  Forgive me for attempting to purchase a portion of my own salvation.  My heart knows better, but the foolish remnant of my flesh wants me to return to forms of payment that preceded my redemption.

Father, I lift my friend.  I ask this morning, that together with them You would cut the ties to those things of the flesh that restrain them from enjoying and celebrating the full measure of their purchased grace and mercy.  Help them to leave behind a relationship based on their accomplishment, to plunge, head first, into the cleansing fountain of Your unmerited favor.  I pray they emerge refreshed, untethered and unburdened to take hold of Your mystery.  May the sense of their unworthiness and weight of indebtedness be exchanged for tremendous joy and gratefulness.  May they repay You for Your kindness with their love, devotion, obedience and the exuberant worship of a grateful heart.  Father, we thank You that their debt has been paid in full.  May they take their seam ripper in hand and remove the threads of pride they have meticulously woven into Your tapestry, until not one thread remains.  Then, help them to use that same effusive gratefulness to joyfully forgive the debts of others.  In Jesus Name ❤️

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