A Spoonful of Sugar: Encouragement For Mamas

SPOONFUL OF SUGAR 

“May the LORD now show you kindness and faithfulness, and I too will show you the same favor because you have done this.” - 2 Samuel 2:6

Kids break things.  If we were all completely honest, we would admit that they can also yell, scream, makes messes and absolutely melt our hearts.  Those adorable, little rascals can bring out both the best and worst in us.

I am a stepmom.  Getting married so late in life didn’t afford me the opportunity of biological children of my own.  The Lord still blessed me, however.  Instead of giving birth to children from my body, I gave birth to them from my heart.  These four offspring of my heart have grown up into lovely adults that I am proud to call mine.

It wasn’t always easy, however.  I was recounting to my eldest daughter this week how when she and her brother were young, I would often hear, the screaming associated with roughhousing that had gone a bit too far and the characteristic crash of a broken lamp, coming from upstairs.  I would end up frustrated, thinking about the future credit card bill, and I would become angry and shout her name upstairs.  On one instance she shouted back, “Why did you only yell my name?!  He’s doing it, too!”  My response was, “Because you were the loudest!”

Sometimes we lose our cool and raise our voice in anger.  Afterwards, there is generally a feeling of regret, frustration and disappointment with ourselves and the apology.  We feel we should be the perfect mom that keeps a spotless house and wears a starched, ruffled apron while cooking a nightly gourmet meal.  The truth is that we aren’t and we don’t.  We see ideal moms plastered all over social media and we feel like failures.  We can be our own worst critic.  I say all of this to tell you that you are not alone.  Kids do things and moms get angry.  

A few weeks ago I was thinking back on those years and wishing I had enjoyed them more.  I wished I had worried less about broken lamps and more about their broken hearts.  I lamented my mistakes to the Lord, wishing I had been successful at showing them an example of a godly mother.  And do you know what He said to me?  He said, “You were and you are.  You showed them love and kindness when they knew they were being stinkers.  You brought them into your home and raised them as your own.  You taught them, most importantly, about Jesus and you set an example of responsibility, unselfishness, compassion and generosity.  They learned to know what it felt like to live in a home and not just a house, the warmth of family, homemade chocolate chip cookies and the occasional love note tucked in a lunch bag.  Even more than that, you taught them about forgiveness - to forgive quickly and not hold grudges.  And, not the least of which, you taught them how to fail.  You taught them that when they make mistakes, how to humble themselves, apologize and genuinely ask for forgiveness.  Had you never made mistakes, they would never have learned how a godly person humbly deals with their sin.”

You don’t have to be perfect to be a great mom.  Maybe sometimes our mistakes and our responses to them, are gifts we give to our children that teach them how to navigate through life.  Mary Poppins and her magical spoonful of sugar might be lovely, but every child can benefit from a mother who shows them them the beauty and grace of humility when she makes mistakes.

Heavenly Father, I lift this precious mama reading this right now.  She is imperfect, just like every mother that has ever lived, all the way back to Eve in the garden.  We ask that You would help her to be the best mom she can be, to meet the needs of her family and to put You first.  Help her to forgive herself for being human and to extend the same mercy to herself that she does to others.  The next time she makes a mistake or loses her temper, remind her that she is being given an opportunity to demonstrate character skills that are not easy to attain through reading, and are only truly learned when we see them demonstrated with our own eyes.  Strengthen her to demonstrate both humility and forgiveness before little, learning eyes and ears.  Lord, help her to enjoy these years for the gifts that they are.  Teach her to make wonderful memories while children remain under her roof and there are still lamps yet to be broken.  And open her eyes to receive the joyful truth that being an imperfect mom just might make her the perfect mom for her imperfect children.  In Jesus Name ❤️