Stop The Madness!
Do you have someone in your life whose very presence can make you come unhinged? For those of us who can’t think of anyone fitting that description, chances are we ARE one!
Often these poor souls have no clue how they are received. I have one or two of these in my life, and I hate how this irritation to be with them makes me feel.
To be with them, my responses can be short, curt and frankly, not very nice. After an encounter I always feel like a relational failure.
I don’t understand myself. I want to do one thing, but end up doing precisely the opposite. I do what I hate (Rom 7:15).
I loathe the lack of self control and anger—almost as if a tiny bit of insanity, a fleeting madness, takes over.
Recently, I was alternating between complaining about someone and lamenting my behavior to the Lord, and I said to the Lord, “Lord help me! I don’t know how to do this! Show me how to feel different about them!” Two words came to mind:
EMPATHETIC REPENTANCE
Empathetic Repentance is described as unilateral forgiveness by way of empathy.
“Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” 1 Peter 3:8-9 NIV
With Empathetic Repentance, we consider the faults, sins or annoyances of the other person, and then bring those things before the Lord, asking Him to reveal to us where those things, or something equally grievous, reside in us.
It isn’t unusual for us to be aggravated by behavior in others that we perceive as being beneath us. It causes us to feel superior and we look down on them for it.
When we ask the Lord to reveal our blind spots, we can begin to see a little bit of that person in us, or us in them. It is THEN that the locked door to empathy swings open. We start to be able to relate and empathize.
The Lord reveals our offensiveness and we grieve and repent of our behavior. In the process, our annoyance with the other person eases and the process of replacing irritation with empathy begins, making it easier to forgive.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,” – Philippians 2:3.
“But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me—and not without results. For I have worked harder than any of the other apostles; yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace.” – 1 Corinthians 15:10
Father, we come before you. We hate feeling like relational failures. We cringe looking at ourselves in the mirror, knowing this impatience, intolerance and ugliness resides within the same body as the Spirit of God.
We nervously ask You to reveal our faults and the same ugly, annoying tendencies in us, that are in these who so annoy us. May we be so grieved by the revelation, that we not only repent, but relent and exchange our irritation and intolerance for empathy and forgiveness.
Teach us to be lavish in extending grace and mercy, that we will find the same measure extended to us (Matthew 7:2). We ask for a spring of forgiveness to well up within us, because this is precisely what we need from You, every single day.
We thank You for the gentleness with which You reveal our brokenness and the tenderness with which You bind up our wounds. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” – Proverbs 27:6. Be our patient teacher, so we will be gentle ministers of healing to the broken souls that You place around us. In Jesus’ Name ❤️
Beloved, with humility comes revelation. With revelation comes empathy and forgiveness and a lifting of our burdens and resentments. It will be worth it! 💡
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